If you’ve never done a juice cleanse and want to know what to expect, read this. I prepaid for my juices and had to pick up my 6 daily juices every morning. This was my first time to do a cleanse and my thoughts are below.

Day 1: I could do this for 20 days!
The day was easy. I enjoyed all of the juices and was just mildly hungry by the end of the day. But, when you’re at the beginning of a cleanse or a diet, you tend to start planning your first meal like it’s your last. Also, food commercials on TV are super annoying. I want pizza!!

Day 2: Why don’t they have a ranch dressing cleanse?
Juices are okay today but I’m really craving ranch dressing. My coworker tried to find a ranch dressing cleanse with no success. We did decide that if we blended spinach, tomatoes, cucumbers, and a tablespoon of dry ranch dressing mix that technically we would make a salad. As the day goes on, I start to notice that I have to go to the bathroom more often, for more than one reason if you know what I mean. The best part of the day was fitting into my size 6 pencil skirt and tucking in my blouse. The worst part of this day is that no one really explained how your body does the cleansing and everyone should be aware about possible anal leakage because I had an accident on the way home…in my pencil skirt.

Day 3: Ginger is the ROOT of all evil!
Today is the worse day. I hate it so much I feel like throwing my juices back and asking for a margarita instead. (Which makes me think they should make a margarita juice cleanse, too.) Every day someone new is making the juices and today 2 of them had way too much ginger. It was so overpowering that I couldn’t hold anything down. Luckily, we have a small store in our office so I could buy a banana. I also ate an avocado that evening but only drank 2.5 juices of the 6 for the day. At this point I wonder if the person who created this awful idea of juicing did it for punishment purposes of killing yourself slowly from the inside out.

Day 4: All I want is chicken
I’ve been a pescatarian for about 2 months and today I want meat…particularly chicken. I want it fried, baked, and dipped in ranch (go figure). The juices are okay but the ones with ginger are still disgusting. I’m really not sure if I can ever eat ginger again. I had some carrots during lunch and half of a white peach during dinner. I’m so thankful that I’m feeling better, there’s only one more day left, and my rear is starting to feel better. I go to bed dreaming of Chick-fil-a’s chicken salad sandwich and fries…dipped in ranch.

Day 5: A new reason to be thankful for Friday
Finally, it’s the last day and I’m feeling more like myself. I keep thinking all day that I want to eat a salad tonight. I had an apple during the day and only drank three of the juices. I had a small salad with no dressing during dinner and so glad this dang experience is nearly over. Oh, and the juicer I ordered from Groupon before starting this cleanse finally arrived. I don’t even open the box and even consider returning it.

Day 6: I’ve reached the promise land
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO EAT!! I’m so excited it’s like Christmas Day!! I made coffee first. Later I shared a plate of eggs, red potatoes, and refried black beans with my husband for breakfast. By lunch I had a black bean patty and some edamame. We went to a birthday party and there was both ranch and onion dips! I tried to control myself because I knew we were going to sushi. Sushi was soo good. Sake was soo good. I’m happy and never want to do a 5-day juice cleanse again.

Day 7: I Love Food
I had no extra weight gain from my food binge the day before. Yippee! Overall I lost 5 pounds and I’ll take that in a week any time. Now all I have to do is keep it up and keep the weight off!